Lapata - A case of lost and found lives in Madiwala market

Knowledge, if not for anything else, felt like one of the ways in which the norms of this society can be questioned or changed. However, as one keeps on living with themselves with an aim of improving our life, the concepts of education and knowledge can get challenged daily. What elements of information constitute knowledge, and what aspects of individual behaviour and mannerisms differentiate the informed individuals from the ones lost? - these are just some of the questions that pass through my mind as I wander around the streets of madiwala to find some form of new knowledge.

I also seek answers to my predicaments of being here in the first place, like how should I work on an assignment when I barely have the skillset or professional acumen to fulfil the tasks given? How do I converse with locals when I know close to nothing of the language of the city I live in for about two years now? Why does the lady selling lemons seem more assured of her life than I am?

When I look at her sitting with suave and wanting to do nothing with some jesters hanging around with a few cameras, her self-assurance sure questions mine. Maybe, all this while, when I was implicitly taught to consider myself ahead and better off because I get to have the sweet taste of higher education, we got it wrong. Maybe, when life gave her lemons and she chose to sell them, she improved at some fundamental life skills which I am nowhere near mastering. Not stressing over minute difficulties, minding our own business, and living with grace without comparison - are just a few mention-worthy ones.

One of the most prominent stages of individual growth that I am grappling with these days is developing an acceptance of how life is out of our control and that we merely live in a responsive state. When I pass across one more such marvellous lady, her face reminds me of my grandmother and all the traits I picked up from her. That look of horror and fragility as we would contain the turmoil within us whenever we would face a new challenge. I am not proud of feeling comfort in seeing her unconsciously hiding under her cart, but something about her action brought in a sense of familiarity and warmth.

She reminded me of how lost I feel in this city and yet, how much this feeling of being lost has reduced over time. There was a time when I used to stay within my comfort zone and look at others with the same look of horror as they went on to live the life I craved for. As I move forward now, with a camera in my hand (with half of its features still unknown to me), and politely point at my camera with a smile and gesture to ask whether I can click a picture or not, not only do I overcome my immediate struggles but also feel an increased sense of affection for my younger, scared self. 

While I return with my task already fulfilled, the youngest woman on my way teaches me an even bigger lesson. She poses for my camera one minute and the other tries to hide behind the saree of her mother. She's as dynamic as every picture of hers and she shines through all of them. Be it her confused eyes blaring at my lens or her subtle disobedience as her mother asks her to stand straight for the picture. In a place where we are all looking for something, be it a market or life in general, by being her authentic self and being comfortable with it, she seemed found in a market of lost faces.